Friday, April 29, 2011

FIVE MORE MEDICAL FORMS AHHH

So, yesterday morning, my impatient self decided to call the person assigned to answer my medical questions (via the Peace Corps telephone number provided in the medical kit), as I was curious whether I should expect to have more doctors appointments this summer. My toolkit still just says I have a hold and only need to further info if requested by Medical Services.

Luckily, a Ms. Georgianne both answered the phone and was friendly, but told me...

Not good news. I expected a form or two to be missing/needed, but not FIVE***. Lord. I was in shock. Apparently, I need:

- A post-operative form filled out by the doctors who performed my appendectomy EIGHT YEARS AGO

- A personal statement regarding this appendectomy [wtf? Perhaps they mean emotional attachment problems? I'm not dying, I've got a sweet scar I tell people was caused by a (baby) shark bite] + my original appendix, preserved in formaldehyde and sealed in a Mason jar (just kidding. So far. SO FAR)


- A form regarding my "mango allergy." The bizarre mango allergy I've experienced exactly 1.5 times in my life. Back in high school, I bought a fresh mango trying to be healthy/experimental and accidentally tried eating the skin before peeling it. A day later, I had this gnarly herpes-looking outbreak on my lips that itched like poison ivy, just a week or two before graduation. After much googling, it turns out the skin of mangoes is related to the poison ivy family, and if you're allergic to poison ivy, you have a chance of being allergic to just the skin of mangoes. Anywho, I went to the doctor in 2007, and he gave me some sort of antihistamine thing. Peace Corps wants all this who/what/where info about the mango. "I want to know where the mango at!"


- Missing Polio records... Somehow, my proof of Polio 1 & 2 vaccines have vanished. I swear they were there. I mean, I had the booster shot. Both my doctor and I checked them off the list. Bizarre. I will have to get titers showing I've had them.


- And.... another CBC due to my low iron. Which is what I expected in the first place. I'm a bit worried about this iron thing because I donated blood Monday (four days ago), and despite my taking an iron supplement with 100% of my needs, my levels were at the exact minimum to be eligible to give blood (12.5). It's so weird.



So there you have it. I will now begin writing the sequel to my novel Peace Corps Medical, A Girl in Tears. Just as soon as those forms actually arrive in the snail mail. Ms. Georgianne told me that the forms had been mailed to me on April 21 from D.C., but for some 7 days, haven't arrived in NC. I expect they are enjoying their time drinking martinis in the Caribbean. Weather's getting to be quite toasty there this time of year.

And I am left feeling like a loser for A) Not graduating on time - hello Summer Classes at UNC... again. B) Having no idea what I'm doing after actually, hopefully, probably, most likely graduating in July...... C) saying good bye to all my friends here. Sigh.

My plan so far looks like this:

Graduate, at all costs, in July. If accepted to Peace Corps for August/September, stay in Chapel Hill. If rejected/deferred/or invited for a position beginning October - May 2012 (will the world be here?), buy a car and move to a random city in the U.S., while trying to find a job abroad. I'm so tired of the Southeast U.S. Even the Northeast. I want to go out West.

And there's the plan. Solid gold.

***I'd also like to make a note that I do appreciate the Peace Corps' diligence in ensuring the safety of its volunteers. Seriously. Because if contracting a deadly flesh-eating disease from eating a mango that affects only the anemic, appendixless, Polio titer-less American were to happen to anyone, it would happen to JADE THE BLADE ***


4 comments:

  1. This is EXACTLY my story, too! (Well, minus the weird mango issue). I have to go find my now-retired surgeon on Monday to do some sort of an evaluation about my appendectomy. PLUS about 4 other random things. Crazy. I think Medical is how they make sure we're serious about Peace Corps... otherwise we'd run like hell in the other direction! :) Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd like to say I'm glad someone else is having similar issues, but I know it's so frustrating. You're right, this Medical portion does filter out the less dedicated. I've been thinking of it as Hell Week for the Navy Seals training. When/where have you been nominated for? I hope you're able to pull your surgeon out of retirement without any difficulties...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahahah... yeah. Not to mention, it's hell week during academic hell week! :P I'm at Winthrop, just a couple hours from you near Charlotte. I'm nominated for Central/South America in July/August for Youth Development. How about you? Good luck on getting those forms together...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've just set up a new blog... decided I liked wordpress better. :) Follow me there! www.adventuresofagirlgoneglobal.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete